risk!

"He doesn't reward success, He rewards risk!" That's an interesting thought to ponder, especially as I work through 40 days of preparation to go to Israel in June. The part of the prep process I'm on right now is called "Holiness and Cleansing"...and I have to say, I certainly feel some shaking going on as He gets this house in order!

Did you know that there is a healing revival happening right now in Lakeland Florida? I first heard about this several weeks ago, but only today have I sat down to check it out. Why? Don't I believe that God is all about the miraculous...have I not been telling anyone who would listen to me that I just know God is stirring up something new, something unprecedented in these days? So why does a "healing revival" still make me nervous? Anyone who has known me for about 5 minutes would know that my favorite pastor these days is Bill Johnson. I was thinking today about why he appeals to me so much. He's very mellow, calm, not dramatic or weird, he seems utterly normal. God has blessed him with such profound, deep, revelations about who God is and what He's doing these days that resonate deeply with my spirit. Of all of that, I think that it's his normalcy that I am so comforted by. I think he's a sort of bridge for people like me, coming from a cautious conservative background, to begin to wrap their minds and hearts around this God who does such strange, amazing, creative, new, uncomfortable, unbelievable, impossible things. But, even though God has richly blessed that ministry...He has also blessed MANY other ministries that I am still not so comfy with yet. Honestly, I still cringe a little at the word "charismatic"...and a "healing revival" makes me shift uncomfortably in my seat. I still have to remind myself that it's okay to use the word "feel" when describing my experiences with God...and even that there is such a thing as "experiencing" God. Many of these ministries I'm not super comfortable with do weird things, make strange noises, they have flags and interpretive dancing, they're loud and conspicuous. One pastor, who I've always struggled with for those reasons once stood by me during a worship service and reached over and put his hand on my shoulder, and I presume prayed for me for about a minute or two. Now as weird as I may perceive this man to be, I can not deny the fact that from that moment to the end of the service, my shoulder was burning! God was in the midst of that place and that ministry!

In actuality, it's entirely likely that selling out completely to God and what He's doing in the world today, it will look foolish at times. Probably not always, but it will often. What if God asks me to start publicly, boldly praying for the sick at my workplace, at my church, on an airplane? What if He gives me a prophetic word to share with a stranger on the street...or a family member? What if I were to come upon a fatal car accident and He asks me to pray for someone to be raised from the dead? What if He asks me to go to the ends of the earth? What if He asks me to stand in front of a microphone and address a crowd of hundreds or thousands or millions? What if He asks me to dance before Him in worship? What if He asks me to get up at 2am to pray until dawn? What if He doesn't show up the way I think He will? Will I do it? Will I take the risk? Regardless of the outcome, will I risk embarrassment, failure, disappointment, rejection?

The truth is, I have heard testimonies of everyday normal Believers doing EVERY one of the things I listed above. Regular people just like me...just like you! That's the life we're meant for! Right now God is highlighting the fears that still reside in my soul and still dam up the floodgates of all He wants to do through my life. But as He gently contrasts those fears against His testimonies, I feel strength and excitement and faith and boldness and joy begin to rise - because I taste of the life I was made for! This is my journey right now...this is the work He's doing in my heart. I can't even fathom what He will accomplish in me by day 40!